Well... are you?

(Walking around Target, and Elizabeth spots something awesome...)

"Say mom... are you... interested in losing five dollars?"

But, officer, the HOT LIGHT is on, you see...

(On our way to Krispy Kreme... please note: I was under the speed limit.)

Elizabeth: "You're driving too fast."

Me: "Oh?"

Elizabeth: "Yeah, a policeman is gonna pull you over and give you a ticket."

Me: "OK, I'll slow down... sorry about that."

Elizabeth: "Tell that to the policeman."

Out. Of. Hand

Me: [Doing a weird dance or something] "Oh, sorry.... am I getting out of hand?"

Elizabeth: "Yes."

Me: "I get out of hand a lot, right?"

Elizabeth: "Yes."

Me: "...That's actually my whole life, is getting out of hand and having fun."

Elizabeth: "I don't like it when people get out of hand."

Me: "Why?"

Elizabeth: "Because it means they... have problems."

Negotiations

Me : "What would you like for dessert?"

Elizabeth: "Can I have two Thin Mints?"

Me : "Yes."

Elizabeth: "Can I also have something else?"

Me : "Like what?"

Elizabeth: "Like a coconut fruit popsicle."

Me : "You can either have two cookies or the popsicle."

Elizabeth: "How about one cookie and the popsicle."

Me : "No, you can have half a popsicle and one cookie."

Elizabeth: "Oh, fine, I'll just have the popsicle... can I also have half a cookie?"

Me: "Fine."

Surprises are more better

Elizabeth: "I can probably read these Barbie books because they are level 1 and 2, and I am on level 5."

Me: "Will you read 'em to me?"

Elizabeth: "...No."

Me: "Oh... What if I promise not to say a single word while you are reading them?"

Elizabeth: "...Nope, won't work. I'm going to read to you when you don't expect it, so don't ask me. Surprises are more better, don't you think?"

Kind of

(Watching this cartoon...)

Elizabeth: "One time I got chased by a wave at the beach and it was scary... and kind of awesome."

Uh... thanks 'Roger Rabbit'

(...someone in the movie says 'Son of a bitch')

Me: "Oh, sorry, there's bad words in this movie."

Elizabeth: "Thanks!"

Me: "Huh?"

Elizabeth: "Now I can learn 'em all!"

A whole lot!

"There is a lot to do during Christmas vacation. You have to wrap presents. You have to watch Christmas specials. You have to keep track of if it's going to snow..."

I Believe

"I believe in Santa Claus because I have met Him. He's the one at Macy's. He was the nicest Santa I have ever met, so He is probably the real one. He said to me: 'You know, you have had a lot of good years, but this year was your BEST!'"

Hold yer ponies

Me: "I have to clean the kitchen" [fake sniffle]

Elizabeth: [quietly] "I'll help you."

Me: "YOU WILL???"

Elizabeth: "Don't get too excited."