Existential

Me: "Time to brush teeth! Come here please!"

Elizabeth: [from across the house] "I AM THERE!"

Kindergartener One-Liners

"Don't surprise me ever again with a bath."

Why did it have to be snakes?

"What if Indiana Jones was trick-or-treating.... and all he got was CANDY SNAKES. [pause] But, he would still eat 'em."

Sweet

(I was in the kitchen when I heard from the living room...)

Elizabeth: "WHAT?"

Me: "What?"

Elizabeth: "They just said in that commercial that if you're sick, you should eat honey."

Me: "Yeah, sometimes it's good for a sore throat."

Elizabeth: [grabs her throat] "Uuuuuggghhh... I do. I have a sore throat."

Detail-oriented to the max

This guest post comes to us from Elizabeth's Grandpa Tom. An incredible true-story:

(In the parking lot at the Children's Museum...)

Grandpa (upon spotting a car that he thinks looks just like their grey Rav4): "Hey Elizabeth, I hope we don't get in that car by mistake."

Elizabeth (without looking back at Grandpa and Grandma's car): "Don't worry Grandpa, that one doesn't have white stripes on the back lights like yours, and the license number is different, and that one has grey door handles. The ones on your car are black."

(Even though Elizabeth doesn't need to look back at Grandpa and Grandma's car to spot these differences, Grandpa does. And is amazed to find she is exactly correct.)

How long??

(Elizabeth notices an airplane in the sky...)

Me: "Next time we go to California, we won't be on a plane, we'll be in a car.... for a long time!"

Elizabeth "How long?"

Me: "The first day will be about 8 hours, and the second day will be about 8 hours, then we'll be there."

Elizabeth "Whoa.... How long does it take to get to Oregon State?"

Me: "We're in Oregon right now."

Elizabeth "How long does it take to get to the whole world??"

Me: "Hmmmm...."

Elizabeth "And, how long does it take to get to Spanish Land?"

I got these questions in rapid succession:

(The topic right before this? How to pick up a cat...)

"How did they make the world?"

"How did they make the first person, because no one would be there to have a baby the first time?"

"How did they make the planets?"

Practical

(We are dressing up to go to the Davis Graveyard....)

Elizabeth: "Are those the shoes you are going to wear?"

Me: "Yep!"

Elizabeth: "But those are not witch shoes."

Me: "They are very practical, though."

Elizabeth: "No they're not!"

Me: "Oh, sure they are."

Elizabeth: "Nothing is EVER practical."

Growth spurt!

(Dinner time...)

Elizabeth: "I want to eat the whole pot of mac & cheese."

Me: "All of it??"

Elizabeth: "Yes!"

Me: "Well, why don't you ask your tummy if that's what your tummy would like."

Elizabeth: "Ok. Tummy? Do you want the whole pot of mac & cheese? He said 'YES, INDEED!'"