A whole lot!

"There is a lot to do during Christmas vacation. You have to wrap presents. You have to watch Christmas specials. You have to keep track of if it's going to snow..."

I Believe

"I believe in Santa Claus because I have met Him. He's the one at Macy's. He was the nicest Santa I have ever met, so He is probably the real one. He said to me: 'You know, you have had a lot of good years, but this year was your BEST!'"


Hold yer ponies

Me: "I have to clean the kitchen" [fake sniffle]

Elizabeth: [quietly] "I'll help you."

Me: "YOU WILL???"

Elizabeth: "Don't get too excited."


The po-po's

"They should call them Pull-ice, because they pull people over!"


Breakfast at McDonald's!

Elizabeth: "This potato thing. It's... giving my mouth a nightmare."



Elizabeth: "Everything is worse without butter."

Huge difference, Mom

(While dancing...)

Elizabeth: "Do you want me to dance Silly or dance Funny?"

Me: "Umm... Silly."

Elizabeth: "OK" [dances silly] "Now what?"

Me: "Now dance funny." [She dances funny] "...so, what's the difference between Silly and Funny?"

Elizabeth: "Well, Silly is just funnier."

On the first day of Fall

(While riding in Grama & Grampa's car, with the windows rolled down....)

Elizabeth: "Whaddya think this is, SUMMER?!"


Save the Ocelots!

(While reading a library book about adorable, beautiful ocelots...)

Me [reading]: "...Ocelots used to be hunted for their coats."

Elizabeth: "Oh! That's not good. Go to a store and get a coat, people!!!"

The Big Time

Elizabeth: "Mommy. Here's something we are learning about in school, and I'm not even sure you know about it.... EXPANDED NOTATION."



Me: "Hold on, I gotta pee..."

Elizabeth: [sarcastically] "P? P??? You can't 'P' that's a letter!"

Me: "OK. I need to urinate."

Elizabeth: ".......That's not a word!"


In charge, for real

Elizabeth: "I'm going to play soccer, and my mom and dad are the coaches, in charge, for real. My dad is the assistant coach, and my mom is going to be the real leader!"

E's buddy: "Why is your mom going to be the leader?"

Elizabeth: "Just because. She chose to."

She knows me

(We bought a used book at the Milwaukie Daze parade, where the library was having a sale. Later that day....)

Me: "Want to read this book we got today?"

Elizabeth: "No."

Me: "Oh... did you want this book?"

Elizabeth: "No. I just wanted you to be happy that we got a book."


(A kid rides his motorcycle past our house for the frillionth time...)

Elizabeth: "I bet I know where he got that motorcycle.... at the Stupid Shop."


Not a food group

Me: "What you you like with your salmon?"

Elizabeth: "Hmmm... can I have a candy side?"


Time to pretend

"I know! How about, I'm a turkey....."

You know I will be!

"I want to show you a trick. It's very hard, but be impressed with it."


Pencil me in

Me: "So, I wanted to let you know: I'm going to go to dinner with my girlfriends and then see a movie tomorrow night. Just wanted you to be aware, so you're not surprised."

Elizabeth: "Hold on, let me write this down." [Scribbles on a note-pad & mumbles] "....Mommy.....girl...friends.... OK!"



(The music at Taco Time took me back.... in time...)

Me: "This is Cher. She dresses up in really crazy costumes."

Elizabeth: "I thought Lady Gaga did."

Me: "She does.... but Cher did it first."

Elizabeth: "Oh.... SHARE? I bet she likes to share in school!!"


(While sick....)

Me: "You're my best friend, you know?"

Elizabeth: "What about Daddy?"

Me: "Daddy is also my best friend. Both of you are my best friends."

Elizabeth: "But, who is your most favorite?"

Me: "I can't choose. Both of you are."

Elizabeth: "I think you should choose me."


Nu's On Wheels

(Grandpa was working at home during the afternoon)

Elizabeth: "Grandpa, Little Nus Restaurant is open today, would you like to be a customer?"

Grandpa:  "I can't right now honey, I have to go back to the office in a couple of minutes."

Elizabeth:  "Well then, how about an order to go!"


I want to live at Disneyland, but it ain't gonna happen

Elizabeth: [riding her scooter] "I really want to go play with Lily."

Me: "I know, but they're not home yet."

 Elizabeth: "But I want to!"

Me: "Sometimes we can't always have what we want."

Elizabeth: [stops] "Yes we can... THIS IS AMERICA."


More art

Me: "What did you learn in kindergarten today?"

Elizabeth: "We were talking about Georgia O'Keeffe."

But, I will pencil you in

Grandpa: "We should go to a movie this weekend, Grandma."

Elizabeth: "You should go see The Lorax."

Grandma: "I would only see The Lorax with you, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth: "Sorry, I've got things to do this weekend."


Elizabeth: "I have a joke for you. What did the bicycle say to the other bicycle?"

Me: "What?"

Elizabeth: "ASPERASANTAY!"

Me: "....Oh, what does that mean?"

Elizabeth: "Well, I couldn't really understand it, so I had to say it in Japanese."



"HA! I tricked you! I do want to wear a coat."


Proud, proud, proud.

"I'm thinking about being a teacher when I grow up."


Me: "When I take my work trip next week, who are you going to miss more, Me or the iPad?"

Elizabeth: "The iPad... Wait! YOU'RE TAKING IT WITH YOU??"


Happy birthday Elizabeth!

"This is a great day. It's my birthday, and the class is going to sing to me! I'm also the Special Helper! AND IT'S LIBRARY DAY!!"


We love Sojourner

Grampa: "How's school going?"

Elizabeth: "Good. We've been looking at the paintings of Matisse."

Bubble bath

"I know! Let's play SURPRISE BEARD!!"



(A commercial for a rodeo is on TV...)

Elizabeth: "What the..."

Me: "That's a bull rider at a rodeo."

Elizabeth: "The bull does NOT look happy."



"I wish the news really would tell us if it was going to snow."