My world-champion scuba diver

(Bathtime...)

Elizabeth: "I want you to count how long I can hold my breath underwater."

Me: "Ok... go. One-thousand-one, one-thousand-two, one-thousand-three, one-thousand-four, one-thousand-five, one-thou..."

Elizabeth: "No, no, no. Count. Count normal. Like this: Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineteneleventwelvethirteenfourteen. OK?"

Me: "Ok."

Elizabeth: "And, count fast."

Kindergartener One-Liners

"You don't have a mommy, you're a mommy!"

Something magical

(While getting ready to go to Kindergarten in the morning...)

Me: "OK, time to brush teeth..."

Elizabeth: [peeks her head around the corner, wearing a large witch's hat & smiling] "Alright, I just have to do something real quick!!"

Too much

(While taking a bath, pretending to be a Milkshake stand. She hands me a cup of bathwater....)

Elizabeth: "....and here is your milkshake! It's our special, Blueberry-Strawberry-Mango!"

Me: "Thank you, how much do I owe you?"

Elizabeth: "IT'S FREE!"

Me: "Really??"

Elizabeth: "Yes. We have TOO MUCH MONEY!"